Oh what can I say about Mard that has not already been said.

As I watched this, I kept thinking "Did they just do what I thought they did?" and the answer was always "Yes." I keep thinking about the horse. Or 'horses.' I suspect the horses did not do well in this movie. While the horse character had a starring role, the horse(s) used to portray that role may not have been treated very well. For example, the scene where the horse goes into the pool isn't a CG effect. I think they really made the horse jump into the pool. What happened to the horse? In the movie, this was played to great comic effect. In reality, I keep thinking that the horse didn't fare well with that stunt.

rope a plane The movie starts with one of the Good Guys stopping a plane by roping it as one might do with a steer.

lost kid Not unsurprisingly, Nirupa Roy once again loses a child. This seems to happen to her a lot in these movies.baby stealing horse Turns out the horse stole the baby. This is a baby-snatching horse. The horse was actually saving the baby from the Bad Guys.
helen Helen...for once, not dancing.
horse in pool This was NOT a special effect. I keep wondering about the horse. This can't have been good for the horse.
I guess this counts as foreplay. foreplay The heroine dons a black latex-like costume, proceeds to whip her intended, then rubs salt on his wounds. Big B is left tied up as entertainment for the party.party entertainmentdog sneak Fortunately, the dog comes to the rescue. This dog is smarter than Lassie. It talks. In this scene, the dog is sneaking around the ballroom while untying Big B.

marry meAfter being saved by the dog, Big B carries the heroine off to the piles of salt to repay her for rubbing salt in his wounds. saltOf course, this makes her fall in love with him. I never quite understood why he would return the affection.

cakeSomehow, he does. With a reference to Amar, Akbar, Anthony (where Big B jumps out of a giant Easter Egg and later impersonates a priest), this time he wears a priest outfit while popping out of a giant birthday cake. horse dance They're in love now and they do the horse & buggy dance.dixie flamenco The female backup dancers would have been better suited in a flamenco number. The men look to have walked out of a Dixieland band.

talking dogdog buggy The dog talks and can drive a buggy.opiumBig B turns down opium in favor of alcohol.british bad cAPES In case you were wondering, the British are the Bad Guys. pink clownIs it a clown? Is it a thug? You decide.

Next stop: vampires.
Here's a problem with arranged marriages. Sometimes your intended is insane and perhaps a vampire.fianceThis part really didn't make sense. vampirebloodsucking The subplot had something to do with draining blood from slaves who wouldn't or couldn't work. The Bad Guys would store the blood on a shelf before shipping it off to Burma to save British lives. In case any had forgotten, the British are Bad.

mom whipOnce again Nirupa Roy has a hard time of it. This time, she's being whipped by her husband. This movie had a lot of gratuitous whipping.

flying tigerThat's supposed to be a flying tiger.tiger attackI think the tiger is stuffed.tiger namasteAfter the tiger completes the dramatic rescue, it wishes Nirupa Roy well on her reunion with her long lost son.

half capeThis movie was all about whipping and capes. Many of the Bad Guys wore capes, often these half capes. I guess it was style.

tanksNirupa Roy's troubles are not over. Now she's strapped to the front of a tank. Helen is on the other tank. At least Nirupa Roy is in good company.